It has all the space we need for our family and Katia's equipment. We have signed a short term lease still hoping for something more suited to active boys, our homesteading, chicken raising eldest child and Katia's immobility. Right now we carry her up and downstairs each day and at 30 pounds (yes, I did say that!), it is do-able. But as she grows, that will become more of a challenge.
A couple of months ago, (time really runs away with her care and being homeless and then moving...sorry) our eldest daughter saw Katia smiling in her sleep. It was such a precious sight! We began to see it with greater frequency and rejoiced over what that might mean to our little silent one. Katia grimaces when stretching and can moan a little mad sound if we hurt her but mostly stares off somewhere without expression though she looks peaceful.
Since her tube was removed from her nose, she is vocalizing a happy, open mouthed sound that doesn't require word formation. She does this daily now and with greater frequency through the day.
It's wonderful to keep experiencing new things from her, expressing a little bit of what she is feeling.
So you can imagine my delight when, looking past me the other day, she smiled a huge smile and made her cooing sound very loudly! What a reward and blessing!
And she did it a few times in a row.
We don't know what she was thinking or seeing.
We have thought that she sees us, looking right into our eyes on occasion and she tracks my face and her lit up musical gloworm occasionally, but her neurologist was evaluating her last week and thinks she is tracking sound not visually. He tested her eyes with light and the reaction of the eye to light is normal but the brain doesn't see what we do says he. She doesn't have the primitive response to blink when he acts like he will poke her in the eye with his finger. We don't know for sure of course so I am experimenting.
But the crowning glory of the smiles came last night as I turned Katia to settle her for first shift of the night. I scooped her body to turn her but got to my knees by her crib and was holding her, letting the crib assist. My routine for bed has been to say goodnight in Russian, then in English and then to say "I love you, Daddy loves you, B loves you, E loves you, C loves you and Jesus loves you most of all!" I was pulling her face close with her in the crook of my arms and kissing her where jaw meets neck as I said each of these. As I looked at her face in between each kiss and name, she had the hugest smile on and kept smiling for each person named and kiss! I don't know if she is ticklish there or why she smiled so big but I wanted to burst it made me so happy!
So I went through the list again! She didn't disappoint, smiling as broadly as ever.
What amazing sweetness! I am grateful to realize that one day I will be able to look right into those seeing eyes and smile and she won't ever be burdened again with brokenness and we will adore Jesus who loves us most of all!