I have been taking photos for 2 posts that are in my brain for days when there is nothing more to report than taking buses and subways to visit and hold our little one for 30 minutes. Thought I might write one of them today until we had our hospital visit.
Our facilitator, who does not go to the hospital with us now, only when we need to go for official things or to help us move apartments, like yesterday, was going to the hospital to get a document signed. We got to drive along with her, as we had to pay for the driver anyway. He had driven her earlier in the day to the orphanage 45 minutes outside the city and to the inspector's office for other signatures. So we all got to go to the hospital together. We were very grateful for the turn of events.
When we first arrived, we found that our little girl was getting her steam hood treatment and that her chest x-ray is good, much improved. They let us go into the room where she was laying on a padded bench with the clear hard shell hood over her head with the steam and oxygen in it.
They gestured that I could go to her. The bench was low and I was in a perfect height on my knees beside her. Everyone of us greeted her and then they asked Gord to take the children out till they were finished. Our eldest stayed at first but then they wanted her to go too.
They had taken our little girl's IV out of her chest and it was now in her arm. I spoke with her and tried holding her hands but they were tightly clenched. Her arms were stiff and her breathing much faster than I had seen it. She wouldn't let me bend her arms in towards her at all which is the way she usually holds them. She didn't relax with me though I spoke to her, held her hands and kissed her hands. As her treatment progressed, she stayed much the same throughout. There was a nurse that had been sitting with her during the treatment. It was just the two of us in the room as our translator had taken B out to join the others. As I talked with K and kissed her hands, I heard the nurse sniffing. I looked back at her and she was crying. I asked her if she was okay and she shook her head and wiped her eyes. It's hard not to be able to communicate. I think these are a group off very compassionate nurses and staff and I think that they are happy that K has a family. But I'm not really sure what she was crying about.
As I knelt beside K, I felt that something wasn't right. She seemed to be trembling all over. Her chin was shaking and her arms and legs were trembling. Our translator returned to the room with another nurse and I asked if she was afraid or cold or what was wrong. The nurse came right over to look. One nurse went and got a thermometer and put it under her arm. Another came back with the head nurse and they spoke and went out. A nurse came back and gave her an IV drug and she seemed to relax. They took off the steam hood and since she was damp, face, neck and top of outfit and blanket, one nurse sat to change her. We put a clean and dry receiving blanket under her and the nurse stripped off her shirt. As she put the new shirt over her head before she had a chance to put it on her arms, rapid talking broke out and the nurse grabbed the two sides of the blanket together, picked her up and ran out the door with 2 other nurses.
I was stunned and the translator was stunned. Another nurse told our facilitator/translator that K had stopped breathing and they had picked her up and run up to ICU. I tried to find Gord and the children while controlling my feelings about everything. I was directed to them where they were waiting in an office. Once in the office and telling them, I cried. I was so torn again. This little tiny girl has already suffered so much that I didn't want her to suffer anymore but I didn't want to lose her either. I knew that to be with the Lord would be ultimate freedom, healing and joy for her and I didn't want to hold her back. I thought we had turned this corner and that she was improving and that the Lord wasn't going to take her just now. I thought she would come home to our family. Now I didn't know. My hands and heart need to be held open to the Lord each day and not just for K but for my other children, my husband, my situation in life, my home or possessions. None are really mine and none are permanent. They are entrusted to me. What I do with this trust is important. I need reminders.
We circled together and prayed for her not knowing how to pray and grateful that God's own Holy Spirit was praying according to God's will.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because[a] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
After about 10 minutes our translator and 2 nurses gathered outside our door. They were talking with each other and not telling us anything at first. I was trying to brace for whatever the news might be. Then our facilitator told us in English that K was breathing on her own and doing okay. She had had a seizure which is not something that she had routinely before this hospitalization. However, since this pneumonia, she has had more than one. They were planning to watch her in the ICU for an hour or so and if she did well, move her back to her room. As of later tonight she was back in her room, but very sleepy.
We are all tired out tonight and so thankful for God's provision of our facilitator being at the hospital when we needed to know what was happening. And we are not the only ones going through uncertain times. We are praying today for a friend in California and his family as he had heart surgery today. We pray for the skills of surgeons and a flawless recovery but mostly for peace for them all and God's perfect plan.
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.